Couples Work
You may be considering couples/marriage counseling after much pain and distress in your relationship. This might include fighting, feeling alone, or like you lost your best friend.
It can be scary to look at your partner and not remember feeling close and yet longing for that very closeness. Also, understanding ourselves in relationship can be extremely challenging when so much of our family of origin and past relationship history is at play.
In our work together we look for pathways back to one another. I primarily draw on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is all about easing the escalation of the same conflicts and creating (or sometimes re-creating) a safe bond with your beloved so that you can reach each other once again. It involves identifying negative relationship cycles and interrupting them so that you can once again feel safe, seen, soothed and secure in your intimate relationship. In addition, we look at concepts linked to Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) such as states of fight or flight when distressed and we begin to learn to pay attention to and listen to what our our bodies might be telling us.
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Divorce coaching and blended family counseling
“It’s emotional disconnection that destroys relationships, not fighting. Happy couples fight.
The difference is that happy couples fight and find a way to turn back and connect again.” - Dr. Sue Johnson
Sculpture by Alexander Milov. Image credit: thestevenjames